When Financial Security Becomes a Family Loyalty
He came to see me because he wanted to change his professional life.
He was still employed, but for some time, something had been calling him in another direction. He wanted to become self-employed, working in a profession where he could support others.
He wanted it.
And yet, when it came to actually taking the step, something was holding him back.
Leaving his job also meant leaving a certain kind of security. And that security had an important place in his family history.
Both his mother and father had been civil servants. He had grown up with the idea of a stable job, a guaranteed salary, a certain financial security.
He was aware of that.
What he didn’t yet know was that another story existed behind this one.
During our work together, we went back through his father’s lineage to his grandfather.
He had been self-employed.
And he had gone bankrupt.
Then, as our sessions continued, a similar story emerged on his mother’s side: another grandfather who had also experienced the failure of a self-employed business.
On both sides of his family, becoming self-employed had therefore been associated with a painful experience of loss and insecurity.
In my work, when family memories like these emerge, there is always a healing process. It involves honouring the people in the lineage — in this case, his two grandfathers — acknowledging what they went through, and symbolically asking for their support and blessing in moving forward.
During this process, he was able to honour his grandfathers, to recognise the difficulties and suffering they had experienced, as well as the responsibilities and choices that had followed.
He was also able to express his gratitude to his parents for the security they had given him.
And from that place, he asked for the blessing of his parents and both grandfathers as he stepped onto his own path of independence.
This inner gesture allowed the family memory to be transformed within him, brought back into his awareness, and the energy of his family history to become a source of support rather than something holding him back.
It was within this feeling of being blessed that his own choice could become more deeply rooted.
He wanted to do precisely what both of his grandfathers had attempted before him: leave the security of employment and build his own business.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that our choices are entirely determined by the history of our ancestors.
But sometimes, what we call our fear also carries something older.
A family experience can continue to resonate long after those who lived it are gone.
And when we are about to take a path strangely similar to one in which a member of our family suffered or failed, moving forward can become very difficult.
Even when, rationally, we know what we want.
We worked together for about a year.
The sessions were usually spaced four to six weeks apart, sometimes longer.
That space between sessions was important.
It gave him time to let the work integrate, to notice what was changing in his life, and also to see what would emerge next.
Because when one layer shifts, another can become visible.
Over the course of that year, we worked on different aspects: his confidence in himself, the value he placed on what he could offer others, his ability to feel legitimate in this new profession, and the obstacles that appeared as he moved forward.
Then one day, the doorbell rang. It was time for his session.
I knew it was him.
And as I walked towards the door to let him in, a very clear thought came to me:
Today is our last session.
I had no rational reason to think this.
I simply knew.
He came in and we had the session as usual.
At the end, I said to him:
“I think this is the last time we’re going to meet.”
He looked at me.
Then he replied:
“Actually, I wanted to tell you that, for me too, this was going to be our last session.”
We smiled.
After about a year of working together, we had both, independently, arrived at the same knowing.
He didn’t need me to tell him that he was ready.
He knew it himself.
And something in that mutual recognition seemed to seal the journey we had travelled together.
The purpose is not to remain attached to the person who accompanies us, but to feel, one day, that we can continue on our own, with everything that has been experienced, integrated and transformed.
Sometimes, what we call fear is simply a memory that has not yet found its place.
And when it settles, there isn’t necessarily a clear answer left behind.
Rather, there is space.
A space where we can finally choose without struggling against a story that is no longer ours.
And perhaps the real question, at that point, becomes simpler, more intimate:
Can I write the next chapter in a way that is truly my own?
Do you know what you would like to change in your life, but feel that something is holding you back?
I would be honoured to accompany you on your journey to discover it.
I offer in-person sessions in West Cork, Ireland, and online sessions worldwide.
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Muriel Laradi
Intuitive Kinesiologist • Healer • Spiritual Coach