What if your child is expressing something that also belongs to you?
A mother contacted me for a remote session because her two-year-old daughter had suddenly stopped sleeping well. She struggled to fall asleep and would often wake during the night crying.
As the session unfolded, I was guided to ask her mother what had happened about two and a half months earlier.
She paused for a moment and then replied:
“That was when I had a major anxiety attack. I later received support and worked through it. But now that I think about it, that’s also when Lili’s sleep problems began.”
Babies and young children are often incredibly sensitive to what is happening around them, especially to what their parents are going through.
Sometimes they seem to express, in their own way, a tension, worry, or shock that has affected the family. They may also add their own experience and sensitivity to it.
I have observed this often enough throughout my years of practice to invite parents to consider this possibility whenever a sudden change appears in their child.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to simply tell them:
“What happened belongs to me. I am taking care of it. You do not need to carry it or express it for me.”
In this little girl’s case, things settled down very quickly after the session.
Of course, every situation is different.
But when we look beyond the symptom and consider what is happening within the whole family system, some situations suddenly become much easier to understand.
Has this ever happened with your baby or young child?
I would be curious to hear your experience in the comments.
I work with adults, babies and children, both in person and online.
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